MasterChef USA / Parody / Reality TV / satire

Excerpt From ÜberChef USA: Episode 8//The One with Helen

“$(@)%*U%PW#@P%*,” Crank yelled, in an unintelligible thread of Brit swears, as he elbowed Gram aside. He looked beyond me. “All of you,” he said to my colleagues, “come look at Greta’s egg tartar.” My gloating competition clucked with joy. Crank held up the plate of raw eggs in front of my face. “Look!” I leaned … Continue reading

MasterChef USA / Reality TV

Excerpt MasterChef USA parody THIS IS THE GIRL From ÜberChef USA

“Slick’s been handed his walking papers,” Mike said. “But you didn’t hear it from me.” “Fired?” I said. “I heard his job was on the line, but.” “Soon he won’t know the difference between Sunday, Monday, Tuesday,” Mike said. “He’ll know Friday,” Jim said, “when he hits the unemployment line.” “Jeez. Why?” “He got owned … Continue reading

MasterChef USA / Reality TV

MasterChef’s MasterPlan: Is Reality TV Getting Smarter?

Is it any more of our business that Courtney Lapresi, season 5 winner of MasterChef USA, was a stripper than it is our business that Renee Zellweger changed her face? “The show was fixed. The stripper won.” After judges Gordon Ramsay, Joe Bastianich and Graham Elliot chose Lapresi as the season 5 winner of MasterChef … Continue reading