MasterChef USA / Reality TV

Excerpt MasterChef USA parody THIS IS THE GIRL From ÜberChef USA

“Slick’s been handed his walking papers,” Mike said. “But you didn’t hear it from me.”

“Fired?” I said. “I heard his job was on the line, but.”

“Soon he won’t know the difference between Sunday, Monday, Tuesday,” Mike said.

“He’ll know Friday,” Jim said, “when he hits the unemployment line.”

“Jeez. Why?”

“He got owned by a pastry chef. Crank and Gram were cheating on him with his replacement, like, we’d shoot scenes without him, and get this, the new judge is a girl.”

“What scenes?”

Mike and Jim looked at each other. “Scenes where the judges relay cooking tips to the contestants? The scene will be spliced into the season finale where the new judge will pop out of a cake.”

“Frankenbite we call it,” Mike said. “The editors rearrange the film by splicing all your fuck-ups into a single clip. You should see how loud you are.”

“If they’re teaching the contestants how to cook, why aren’t we there to listen?”

“Beats us.”

Read the story in its entirety here at THE POTOMAC:


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